silly state law saturday: maine

This week we look at Maine. What they lack in land, they make up for in silly state laws regarding animals

• It is illegal to park your horse "up wind" on a windy day. Up wind of what? I love the courtesy offered by this law, and I'm not versed in physics or the weather, but I'm thinking that someone or something will always be "up wind" of the horse. And what happens when the wind shifts? Quite the quandary.

• It is illegal to clean salmon along Maine's upper Kennebec River. I bet those are some dirty fish.

• In Wells, Deer may not be fed. Oh, the poor dears. 

• In Waterloo, dog leashes may not be over eight feet in length. Seems quite reasonable to me. Apparently, the only time canines are allowed to roam free is if they are "legally hunting." There is an exception to every rule, now, isn't there?

• It is illegal to capture lobsters with your bare hands. There had to be a lobster law. And there's always one of those laws that seems as if it would have natural consequences. Like making suicide illegal...I just don't get it. 

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: louisiana

Did you know that Louisiana is "the pelican state?" Me neither. Pelicans aren't the first thing that comes to mind when I think of this state, but, there it it. Surprisingly, I didn't turn up any laws regarding pelicans. Check out what I did find:

• A ten-year jail sentence is the punishment for stealing an alligator. I should think there would be a natural punishment for this attempt, but it's nice to know that if the criminal makes it that far with all of his limbs, justice will be served.

• In Jefferson Parish, all garbage must be cooked before it can be fed to any hogs. It's nice to know that the good people of Jefferson Parish have high standards when it comes to feeding animals. Those poor creatures who have to eat raw garbage...

• In Sulphur, it is illegal to have sex with a cow. A cow, specifically? All other animals are fair game, apparently. 

• In New Orleans, chasing fish in a city park is against the law. How does one chase a fish? I would love to see it, if it wasn't illegal. Alas, I'll have to imagine it in my head and laugh.

• In New Orleans, horses may not be tied to a tree on a public highway. I suppose if you can find a signpost, that would be more suitable. 

• In New Orleans, you may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. Thank goodness trees aren't prohibited as they are with horses, or we'd have nowhere to tether our 'gators!

• In New Orleans, snakes are not allowed within 200 yards of the Mardi Gras parade route. Makes sense. In our drunken stupor, we wouldn't want to confuse them for beads.

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: kentucky

So, Kentuky. You've made a pretty strong showing in so far as silly animal laws. Thanks for the laugh:

• All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating the at the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. This seems like a logistical nightmare to me. I mean, since the bees are too small to carry all that documentation, they'll have to hire one of those people who can write the whole U.S. Constitution on a grain of rice. And that individual would also have to speak bee, so he or she knows what the bees need, and then people at the state line will probably need some special microscope to read it all. There must be a better way. 

• Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection with any religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). Shouldn't reptiles enjoy the same freedom of religion the rest of us enjoy?

• Dogs and cats may not molest cars. A cat peed in my AC vent once. I'm feelin' ya on this one, Kentucky.

• In Berea, horses are not allowed out on the streets and highways at night unless the animal has a "bright" red taillight securely attached to it's rump. We've seen this law in other states, so I'm thinking it's a problem we should pay more attention to? Where do you get a horse tail light, anyway? I really don't think I want to know how it's attached.

• If someone steals your horse, there is a law that allows you to publicly hang the person and no law enforcement officer is allowed to stop you. Kentuckans (is that what they're called? All I can picture is a Turducken.) don't mess around. I wonder if there's a special hanging spot, or if you can just do it wherever you please. 

* It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow. Why would someone do that? It seems like the most inefficient way in the world to fish. I'll have to ask the teen thing about the physics of it all since he's enrolled in physics right now, but wouldn't the arrow go all wonky in the water? Just sayin'. Get a pole, people. Or, better yet, leave the fish alone. 

• It is illegal to shoot game out of the window of a moving vehicle, with the exception of a whale. What is it with all these land-locked states hunting whales? Is there some whale farm we don't know about? This might be a job for PETA.

• No one may dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once. I'm truly at a loss. WhAt? Just dye the poor fella green, if you're desperate to sell. Unless there is a sudden run on blue ducks, then you'd be best in business to dye the whole lot blue. Right? 

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: kansas

I must say that aside from Dorothy's trip to Oz (I know, chiché), I had very little knowledge of Kansas. This activity taught me quite a lot! Did you know Kansas has an ocean? Me neither! Check it out:

• It is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours. I'm sure having only a graveyard shift really limits production.

• In Lawrence, all cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival. Because the car might spook them of course. Especially if they aren't honking. 

• In Dodge City, all places of business must provide a horse water trough. I bet that makes parking tricky.

• In Topeka, dead deer or chickens may not be hauled across Kansas Avenue. Other dead animals are fine, though, so feel free to drag your deceased pets through town.

• In Topeka, driving a herd of cattle through town is outlawed. Great news for shepherds. Less traffic.

• It is illegal to hunt whales. Um, we're still on Kansas, right? 

• No one may catch fish with his bare hands. Good thing whales aren't fish, because I say, if you can catch a whale with your bare hands in Kansas, you can do whatever you damn well please with him.

• No one may wear a bee in their hat. Oh, but why? And what about a bonnet? Does that count?

• Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats. When hunting in Kansas, we'll have to find more difficult challenges, I suppose. 

• The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks. So you're saying that time I rode my mule into the deep-dark duck forest in order to snag dinner I was an outlaw? Thank goodness I didn't get caught. 

• In Derby, it is illegal to ride an animal down any road. Which is probably why businesses aren't required to provide horse water troughs in that city. 

• In Wellington, residents are limited to four cats per household. I'm guessing I have a reader in Kansas who has more. Anybody?

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: iowa

Iowa makes up in quantity what it lacks in quality in terms of silly animal laws.

• It is illegal to hunt from an aircraft. What would be the point? Seriously...that would be more like a video game, right? It's amazing the lengths some will go to senselessly kill. Good law. 

• In Dubuque, any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building. I'm thinking one might be able to build an entire law practice out of enforcing this law. Though I've never actually tried to valet park at an Iowa hotel, so I can't say for certain.

• In Marshalltown, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. Um. O...kay... I think apples are cheaper, right? What in the world?

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com