silly state law saturday: missouri

My brother-in-law, Greg, attended college in Missouri, so I can say I've been to this state, if only for his graduation ceremony. I remember passing through the pathway of entertainment billboards touting that a good time was to be had in Branson. I also remember a tremendous number of stricken armadillos on the side of the highway. I should think there would be a law about that, but, alas, I couldn't find one. Here's what I uncovered...

• It is illegal to park your car with the engine on, on the basis that it might scare horses. Let's not worry about fuel economy or the environment. I wonder how many horses are faced with this crisis. I'm all for respecting animals, but I'm thinking your average horse cruising the streets of Missouri might have scarier things to worry about in this day and age.  

• In Kansas City, installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited. This just takes respecting animals to a whole new level. I can imagine it would be illegal to use actual animal paws, but something molded? Maybe that's why all the fancy home makeover shows stay out of Missouri. 

• In Natchez, it shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. That's nice. I wonder how many beers it would take to get an elephant drunk. Probably not worth it to find out. 

• In Perryville, you may not attack a bird with a catapult within the city. Put your catapults away, people. Y'all will have to settle for the inconvenience of shotguns. 

• Worrying squirrels is not tolerated. Don't they seem like nervous little creatures, anyway? I'm curious to know how one "worries" them further. Or do they mean "worrying" as an adjective, and it's actually a worrying squirrel who is in danger of arrest. Well, no wonder they are so worried!

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: mississippi

Good ol' Mississipi has few ridiculous animal regulations, which, considering the ones they do have, is quite surprising. 

• Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road. We'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume this is for the protection of the horses. 

• Horn honking is not permitted, as it might scare horses. Anywhere? At all? Huh. Good thing this isn't a New York law. And good thing the horses are 50 feet from the road, just in case. I know I've accidentally bumped the horn a few times in my day. I thought the sheer embarrassment was enough, but I'll count myself thankful that I wasn't arrested. 

• Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging. "Rustle" isn't a word I often use, and on the rare occasion I do, I mean "a rustle sound." I didn't think that's what Mississippi meant, so I looked up "rustle" in the dictionary. It turns out that this rustling means we may not "round up and steal" cattle, or be hanged. Other animals are fair game, I suppose. 

• You may not fish by using an Uzi. I think it's because the horses might get scared, because I certainly can't think of any other reason why fishing with an Uzi would be an issue. 

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: minnesota

Every so often a state comes along that makes you wonder. Are they focused on what's really important? Hmmm. Here's Minnesota. You decide.

A person may not cross state lines with a duck top his head. The fact that this is a problem that need a law bewilders me. So...as long as you stay within the state, a duck on your head is fine, but once you cross state lines, trouble ensues?

Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. As if the duck law wasn't specific enough. 

In Hibbing, policeman are required to kill stray cats. Just right there, in the streets, or is Hibbing required to wait for the blink of an eye like most cities in America?

Animals may not sleep in bakeries. But after they eat all those pastries, they're bound to want a nap!

Cats are not allowed to chase dogs up telephone poles. But the reverse is fine, I presume.

It is illegal to park an elephant on Main Street. Completely understandable. They would likely take up two parking spaces, which would just be unfair. Park it on a side street, people.

It is illegal to tease skunks. Wouldn't this be one of those "natural consequence" type issues?

Rats have a 10-cent bounty. Is that dead or alive?

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: massachusetts

We've got some interesting animal laws, Massachusetts!

• No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. Well, who would try to do that? Everyone knows that the front seat is more comfortable for larger folks.

• Dogs are strictly forbidden from riding in ambulances. The sirens likely bother their ears.

• Fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries. Guess if your rooster is craving a donut, he has to wait outside while you order. 

• Hunting on Sundays is prohibited. At least the animals have a day of rest.

• In Boston, anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays. I see how it works. It seems peaceful to let them all graze as they wish, but only on hunting days. Hmmm. Very suspicious. 

• In Boston, no one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears. Perhaps the bears are attracted by all the roosters waiting for pastries.

• In Boston, it is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs. Well, that's pretty common around the country, I think, but I'm guessing at least 50% of our readers are breakin' the law!

• In Marlborough, it is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs. Whoa, now. Let's not get too crazy.

• In Hopkinton, horses and cows are allowed on the common, but dogs are prohibited. I wonder if the horses and cows have to be on leashes. And I wonder if they make XL poop bags for such a thing.

• In Newton, all families must be given a hog from the town's mayor. I'm so moving there. I just have to remember which days my hog can graze, and which days he's in danger of being shot. Sigh.

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com

silly state law saturday: maryland

Love these crazies in Maryland!

• In Baltimore, it is a violation to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within one week of the Easter holiday. Just like puppies at Christmas, I suppose. Think it through, people.

• It is illegal to mistreat oysters. Aw, shucks. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

• In Baltimore it's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Because, if you take a lion to the movies, he might eat all the popcorn. And when he eats all the popcorn, it will remind him that it's not enough, and he's still hungry. So then he'll want to eat the hot dogs. And when he eats the hot dogs it will remind him that it's not enough, and he's still hungry. So then he'll want to eat you. Yeah, perhaps not a good idea. 

• It is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass. I'm not entirely sure that this is 100% an animal law. In any case, it's a good one.

An InLinkz Link-up

Law information source: stupidlaws.com and dumblaws.com