Everything's bigger in Texas! Let's check out the size of their ridiculous animal laws.
• You may not tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle. One boot? Must you own twenty cattle to tuck into both?
• It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone with them who isn't blind. I'm thinking that the blind person and anyone stupid enough to go with him might not be the best hunting partners.
• It is illegal to milk another person's cow. Is that a metaphor? I'll refrain.
• In Kingsville, two pigs may not have sex on the city's airport property. They prefer a menage a trios.
• In Corpus Christie, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. What a shame. I hear they make such sweet pets.
• In Texarkana, owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. The most interesting part of this law is that there is actually a city called "Texarkana."
• Also in Texarkana, it is illegal to own a dingo, wallaby, or poison frog. Specifically.
• In Temple, no one may ride a horse and buggy through the town square. I hear the parking there is terrible, anyway.
• In Temple, you can ride your horse into a saloon. Then when you get drunk, you don't have to worry about mounting back up. And if you pass out, your horse can just take you home. This law should be widely adopted.
• Cattle thieves may be hanged on the spot. Great way to save taxpayer dollars.
• It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. You need to be in the top floor suite for that privilege.
• A dog may not be left unattended on a leash shorter than five times the length of the dog, measured nose to tail. Um...and who is going around measuring that?
• Emu feathers are allowed in mattresses. How exciting. I've always dreamed of owning an Emu mattress.
• In Texarcana, each cow is entitled to one acre for himself. I want to be a cow in Texas.
• Swine cannot be kept within 500 feet of a cemetery in counties with over 525,000 people. Always known to be a horrifying combination of factors.
• It's illegal to attack a service animal. I should think this would go without saying.
• It is illegal to fish using electrical shock. I'm thinking the dummy who does this might be shocked at the results.
Please join us next week when we look at ridiculous animal laws in Utah!
Law information source: stupidlaws.com, dumblaws.com, and realstrangelaws.com.